FN-Cool: Rex vs. Belichick

Well with the big playoff matchup approaching let's take a closer look at the coaches in the game. All the pregame hype has centered around the differing media-relations theories implemented by the coaches from the two teams; Rex and his anything goes attitude and the Belichick say nothing side of things So here it goes...

Style: This is your classic comfort vs. class match-up

Rex: sweater vest and T-neck

Belichick: the custom made BB hoodie

Advantage: This one is a toss-up in my mind but we will give it to Rexy, the sweater vest really disguises his girth.

Catch Phrase

Rex: "Let's get a goddamn snack!!"

Belichick: "It is what, it is"

Advantage: Belichick, "It is what it is" has now morphed into a go to cliche, while Rex just continues to gain weight.

The Wild Women

Rex: His wife with them precious little feet.

Belichick: He traded in his wife for hot little blonde cougar, with some great sweater puppies

Advantage: Belichick this broad is just way hotter, maybe less of a freak, but you have to imagine a gold digging cougar must do wild things herself.

Camera Work

Rex: Films many a foot-fetish flick.

Belichick: Films the oppositions play signals.

Advantage: Belichick it got him 3 rings and into the Hall of Fame, all Rex got was a foot-job. (you think he owns this, or only goes with the real thing)

Shiniest Accessories

Rex: You cant deny it, the man really has some pearly whites.

Belichick: Three Super Bowl Rings.

Advantage: Belichick. The rings put asses in the seats.

Football Lineage

Rex: His father Buddy.

Belichick: Bill Parcells

Advantage: Belichick. Parcells wins Super Bowls, Buddy fights the other coordinators.

Thoughts on holier than thou, Tony Dungy

Rex: "Fuck him, I talk how I talk"

Belichick: "Fuck him, I will coach circles around his ass"

Advantage: Push. Anyone who aims to knock Dungy down a notch is good in my book, I can picture Dungy whipping his back with a belt, like that federal agent in Boardwalk Empire, while looking at a picture of Peyton Manning.